Seeing the Past
by Miko Akako
Summary: Kurt's mom didn't die all those years ago, it's just easier for them to pretend she did. What happens when she shows up back in Lima? Set in Senior Year  but disregarding S3 cannon. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is for a prompt fill on the angst meme. None of the chapters will be long, all around this length. I'll update every day or two.

Pay attention to the dates at the top of the chapter, because it's going to jump between 2011, 2002 and 2000.

This is set in the beginning of season 3 (just meaning everything from seasons 1 and 2 already happened, including all pairings) so spoilers for both of those (none for season 3 that I know).

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><p><strong>Seeing the Past<strong>_  
><em>

_Present Day_

They were in the middle of some song, but Kurt honestly couldn't remember the words. He couldn't remember anything, actually. It was like he was eight years old again looking at the empty casket being lowered into the ground except his dad's hand wasn't there to hold him steady and he got the oddest sensation that he was floating a few inches above his body. The strangest thing was that no one else seemed to notice.

He just stood in the middle of the stage, trying to force his body to respond, to do something, anything. It wasn't until someone ran into him – it might have been Rachel or maybe Tina – and he had to catch himself before he fell. The song fell apart around him after that until it ended in a train wreck of missed notes and forgotten choreography.

"What's wrong with you, Kurt?" It was a testament to just how far gone Kurt was that even Rachel's voice wasn't enough to shock him out of his trance. It wasn't until Finn walked over and put a hand on his shoulder that even noticed he wasn't breathing. His breaths came in short, painful gasps and if he could move he would have clutched his chest to stop to the pain. Instead, when he finally could move, he lifted one hand to his mouth and put the other on Finn's hand on his shoulder.

"What's up, man?" Finn asked in an almost terrified tone. Kurt still couldn't answer – he didn't trust his voice. Instead, he pushed Finn's hand off him and forced his feet to move. He started slowly at first, building momentum as he ran down the stairs of the auditorium stage and then out into the hall. The figure that had sparked the attack was nowhere to be found, but he hadn't been running to her.

He barely made it to the bathroom, bending over a toilet that he normally wouldn't have even gone near, and emptied the contents of his stomach. When he finished, he just stayed sitting on the disgusting linoleum floor, head resting against the side of the stall. He recognized Finn's footsteps in the hesitant steps that approached a moment before the door opened.

"You okay, Kurt?" Finn asked, leaning down and lifting Kurt to his feet like he weighed nothing. "You look like you saw a ghost or something. You're all pale."

"I…I'm okay." Kurt said softly, not even resisting when Finn led him to the sink. He was starting to recover, but still wasn't strong enough to object when Finn grabbed a handful of paper towels and wet them before wiping Kurt's face gently. Kurt let him for a minute before taking them and finishing.

"I saw a ghost once," Finn said. "I mean, it was only a flash and I was going on like…72 hours without sleep but….Oh, nevermind. That was just Puck trying to freak us out. But I thought it was a ghost so…"

"I appreciate the gesture, but I did not see a ghost, Finn," Kurt was pleased that his voice seemed to be under his control again. He rinsed out his mouth a few times, feeling his strength return as the taste of vomit vanished. "Now, I've got a glee club to apologize to."

"You still don't look great. I can take you home and…"

"No. I said I was fine. Let's go finish rehearsal."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Twenty alerts on the first chapter? You guys are awesome. xD

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><p><em>13 August 2002<em>

"Mom?" Every morning for the past two years he ran up from his basement bedroom to find the woman standing in the kitchen burning toast and eggs and cursing. That morning, she had a stack of black toast piled on a plate and a scowl on her face that still looked out of place.

"I thought I told you to call me Emily?" It was her usual response and it never failed to crush the hope welling up in Kurt's chest.

"Sorry, Emily." He grabbed a piece of toast and scraped off as much of the burned part as he could before eating it dry. His mother was a great cook, but he'd come to find out that Emily was not. His mom had also been a morning person, waking him up every morning with a song and a smile. "How are you feeling, m – Emily?"

"As well as can be expected living with people I don't remember," She sat down, laughing and resting her forehead on her hands. "I have an appointment with Dr. Grace this afternoon so you're going to have to go to the Garage with Burt."

Dr. Grace was the therapist Emily had been going to see after the accident. Kurt didn't think she was doing anything, because it had almost been two years to the day and not only had Emily not remembered anything about her life before, but she was pulling away. Before, she'd at least pretended to be a mother to Kurt, but he couldn't remember the last time she'd hugged him or tucked him in to bed.

The car rides to school in the morning were always tense. Kurt tried to talk, but Emily answered in monosyllables or silence, and Kurt eventually gave up. Every day he missed his mom. Sometimes he thought having her there but not being her was worse than if she'd just died in the accident. He'd told his dad that once, and that was the first time he'd ever seen his easygoing dad yell at him.

He climbed into the minivan, buckling his seatbelt and preparing for the usual uncomfortable silence. For the first few minutes he wasn't disappointed, but when they were halfway to the school, Emily did something she'd never done before – she spoke to him.

"How are you, honey?" Her tone was kind, something that was as surprising as the fact that she was talking at all. He glanced over, trying to detect the hint of a trap in her expression.

"Fine," Kurt said, softly. "How are you?"

"I'm sorry things have been hard for you the past two years, sweet heart," She put an arm on his shoulder, pulling in to the parking lot and put the car in park. "I promise everything will get better soon. I…I love you, Kurt. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay," Kurt said, hugging her tightly. He buried his head in her shoulder and biting his lip to keep from crying. He wasn't sad. He was happy. Was his mom finally coming back? It felt like it as he clung to her for dear life. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, but finally he disengaged and sat back. "Bye, mom."

It wasn't until he was watching the car drive away that he realized she hadn't said goodbye back. But that was okay. He ran off to his class without a second thought, hoping the day would pass quickly so he could tell his dad about his morning.


	3. Chapter 3

_Present Day_

The rest of rehearsal went by uneventfully. Kurt tried to focus on the music and ignore the dread pooling in his gut and threatening to paralyze him once again. What he'd seen wasn't a ghost, but he also wasn't convinced it could possibly real. Until he could determine what exactly he'd seen, he couldn't explain to anyone about his reaction. So when Mr. Schue called them all in to give the usual post-performance pep talk, Kurt excused himself. He was well aware of the looks everyone cast after him, but as soon as he hit the hallway he wasn't thinking about them at all.

It was a quick drive to the cemetery, made quicker by ignoring the speed limit signs. It was yet another testament to how upset he was – normally he was almost overly cautious for fear of hurting his car. Just as he'd expected, there was an all too familiar figure standing beside the even more familiar headstone. The wave of nausea was less, but it was the overwhelming surge of anger that followed that gave him the strength to get out of the car and close the distance.

"You've grown." She didn't look over at him, but down at the headstone, tracing the words with her eyes. '_Emily Grace Hummel 1973-2002' _– no other words. He looked at her, surprised that he was actually taller than her. It was impossible to imagine her as the warm arms that comforted him in the past. She looked frail, thinner even than Kurt and clutching a shawl around her shoulders even though it was barely in the 70s out.

"That's what happens when you leave in the middle of the day and don't come back for eight years," His eyes never left her, searching her face and waiting for her to look at him. She did – a quick glance that held guilt and something else that passed too quickly for Kurt to recognize. "Why did you come back, Emily?"

"Honey…" Something in Kurt snapped. He flexed his fingers, taking a breath that did nothing to dispel his anger.

"Don't call me that!" It was satisfying to see her flinch. Part of him felt guilty, but not guilty enough to stop. "Don't ever call me that! _She_ called me that and when you left you made it perfectly clear that you are not her. _She _died. _She_ is buried under there. And you aren't her." He had to turn away from her – his whole body was shaking with tear's he thought he'd cried eight years ago.

"Kurt, I'm sorry about that. I am but…"

"Does dad know?"

"No. I…I came to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you. Whatever you have to say, I'm not interested. Okay? So just…leave Lima. Don't come to my school again. That was the best part about you leaving – you weren't here anymore. To see you…I don't want to see you. I thought that was what you said in the note." He pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and shoved it at her. He didn't need to look at it. He knew every word scratched on the surface.


	4. Chapter 4

_13 August 2002_

The minivan was sitting in the driveway when Kurt and his dad turned in that afternoon. Kurt hadn't stopped talking about his mom since Burt had picked him up, but for some reason his dad hadn't seemed that excited. As soon as the car stopped moving, Kurt threw himself out, leaving his backpack in the car in favor of getting to the house.

As soon as he stepped inside he knew something was wrong. None of the lights were on and everything was horribly silent. Not to be deterred, he ran up the stairs, taking them as fast as his eight year old legs would let him. His parents room was empty, the bed made just had it had been that morning. Maybe she was hiding in his room, he decided, to surprise him.

He opened the door to his bedroom quickly, but it was empty as well. He was about to go back downstairs when a sheet of paper lying on his bed caught his eye. She must have left him a note explaining where she was – how she would be right back and everything would go back to normal. He had to read the note more than once before what the words were saying sank in.

_Kurt, _

_I cannot be your mother, no matter what you think. I can't live here with you and your father any more, pretending like I fit in when I don't. I promise you will never see me again, and I didn't take any of your mother's things. She died in that accident two years ago and I didn't. _

_Please don't think this means I don't care about you, because I do. But I can't be who you expect me to be and if I have to see the disappointment in your eyes one more time I think it would be the end. So grow up and forget about me. _

_-Emily_

He read it over and over again. At some point he sunk to the floor, heedless of wrinkling his clothes, because that's where he was when his dad came in. His dad wasn't much for touching, but he folded Kurt in his arms and Kurt buried his head in Burt's chest, his arms wrapping as far around as possible.

"She's gone," Kurt said through the sobs. It was entirely his fault. He'd driven her away. He was impatient and hurt her feelings when she was obviously trying her best. When his dad found out he would never forgive him either. He had to be perfect for his dad now. He'd learn to cook and clean and dress nice just like his mom had and maybe his dad wouldn't hate him. "I'm sorry."

"Hey kid," Burt held him away. "We're gonna be okay. You'll see. We'll get through this." Kurt just nodded, vowing that he would never hurt his dad again.

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><p><strong>AN: **So I'm insanely happy with the number of alerts I get for this story, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well. Huge thanks to **Salazarfalcon** and **glee4ever4ever** and one anon for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. ❤ you all


	5. Chapter 5

_Present Day_

The drive home from the cemetery was painful. He hated Emily for showing up after the wounds had finally healed and reopening them. He felt like he was eight years old again, curled up crying on the floor of his bedroom. Except then he'd had his dad, and now he didn't.

His dad was finally happy with Carol. The last thing he wanted was to go home and say Emily was back. He knew his dad still told everyone his ex-wife had died. He didn't even want to think what would happen if the truth came out. How would Carol react?

Kurt wasn't even aware of what he was doing until he saw the signs for Westerville. It probably wasn't fair of him to unload on Blaine, but he needed to talk to someone and Blaine had always been there for him before. A quick text later assured Blaine's parents weren't home and it would be okay for him to come over. Kurt met the Anderson's once, and they'd been painfully polite. Blaine's sexuality wasn't something they discussed and since then Kurt had agreed with Blaine that they didn't need to flaunt their relationship in front of his parents.

The Anderson's lived in the Westerville Country Club, but Kurt visited enough that his name was on the list at the gate. The guard checked his ID and opened the gate. For once Kurt pulled up to Blaine's house without marveling at the impeccable landscaping and beautiful brick exterior.

In fact, he wasn't aware of anything until he was in Blaine's bedroom, holding on to his boyfriend as if his life depended on it. Kurt was grateful that Blaine didn't try to make him talk. He did move them onto the bed, leaning back against the wall and letting Kurt cry into his shoulder until he finally got control of himself.

"I – I'm sorry," Kurt said, pushing himself up. He grabbed tissues from the box beside the bed and cleaned himself up. "I'm a mess." He tried to laugh, but it came out as another sob.

"You're always beautiful," Blaine said. The absolute sincerity behind his words was almost enough to make Kurt start crying again. "But there was something you wanted to talk about?"

"I lied to you, Blaine," Kurt had to force the words out, but he knew they were the wrong ones when Blaine recoiled, pulling away. Kurt grabbed him, using all his strength to keep Blaine on the bed. "Please just listen to me. It's not about us."

"What is it then?" Blaine asked, still tense but no longer trying to get away. Kurt didn't let go just in case it was a ruse. He did have to look away from the suspicion in Blaine's eyes.

"My…mother," He said. "I saw her today…"

"Kurt. Isn't your mother dead?"

"Not…Not exactly." He took a deep breath, searching for the words he'd never managed to speak before. "When I was six, there was an accident…"

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><p><strong>AN: **A second update today! I'm in a really good mood because I joined the equestrian team at my school and then came back and had game night with my pod. And also as a thank you to everyone who reviewed! And alerted - just when I think there can't possibly be any more people interested in reading this, I check my email and get ten more alerts. xD But special thanks to **lovebugg22 **and **Sarahamanda** for reviewing. I'm so glad ya'll are liking it so far, and stick with it because it will get less depressing I hope. (I've only got three more chapters typed out thus far, but I'm planning on there being a somewhat happy ending.)


	6. Chapter 6

_April 20, 2000_

Kurt was only six, more interested in arranging the upcoming wedding between the red and pink power ranger action figures than in driving three hours to see grandparents who would give him a football or soccer ball or whatever type of sport was on sale that week and then expect him to spend the weekend outside playing with it. No matter how much he complained, they always did the same thing. Well, at least he had three hours.

"Mom! You play green, okay?" He placed the action figure in her outstretched hand.

"What do you say, Kurt?" She asked.

"Please play the green." He said the words quickly, by rote. "I'm yellow." He said, grabbing the correct figure. "They're having a tea party and then they're going to fall in love and they're going to get married. Even though yellow already married the pink one last week but Puck told me they're both girls so they can't get married so now pink is going to marry red and yellow is lonely so she's going to marry the green one."

"What about the blue ranger?"

"Oh…" He glanced at the lone figure. "He can marry the black one. Is it okay that they're both boys?" He was looking down at the two figures lying in the box so he missed the look that passed between his parents.

"Of course, sweetie," His mom said. "You know…"

Whatever she was going to say was cut off by the shrieking of brakes and a sickening sound of metal on metal. Kurt didn't have time to react before the world was spinning and screaming and he didn't know if the sound was coming from him or his parents or the car or the road but his head hurt and then all he saw was black.

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><p><strong>AN: **So my updates may become somewhat erratic. My computer is pretty much dead, which I've known has been coming and I've been saving for a new one, but now that the time has come, I've recently had to spend my savings on emergency vet bills for my horse so...I'm going to be updating whenever I can, but I'm going to be at my parent's for the holiday weekend and they're so old fashioned it hurts. Anyhow, I'm going to try to get on at least every other day to update.

Thank you to Salazarfalcon, glee4ever4ever, Sarahamanda and Holly-Anne Rivers for the reviews!


	7. Chapter 7

_Present Day_

"Kurt…" Blaine's expression was full of empathy that Kurt didn't want to see. "Were you…"

"The guy t-boned us on the passenger side so my mom and I took most of the impact. Apparently the car flipped and was hit again, but I don't really remember that. My dad wasn't too badly hurt. He fractured his left wrist and had a minor concussion." He shivered, letting Blaine's grip on him tighten.

He felt safe in Blaine's arms, but that didn't make it any easier. With the words came the memories that he'd been suppressing for so long and with them the emotions. He felt the fear and the pain and the hurt all over again and it was only the support of his boyfriend that enabled him to speak them at all.

"You don't have to tell me anymore," Blaine offered. Kurt shook his head.

"I do," He said. "I just…" His stomach rumbled and they both laughed.

"Let's go get dinner first, alright?" Kurt agreed – anything to delay.

Blaine was actually a good cook – something about a summer culinary class in France a few years ago. Kurt was able to hold his own against the professional training, but today he was more than willing to give the task completely over to Blaine.

There was something soothing about the effortless way Blaine navigated the kitchen. For his part, Kurt perched himself up on the counter out of the way. He stirred a bowl when asked but otherwise was completely absorbed in observing his boyfriend work.

All too quickly, the meal was done and they moved to the small, informal table. Blaine told Kurt about his day while they ate, and Kurt was grateful for the easy way Blaine could keep up a steady stream of talk without requiring much input from Kurt. Finally Blaine finished and Kurt knew it was his turn.

"My mom broke her arm and several ribs – one punctured a lung, and she fractured her skull." He could still see her lying in the hospital bed beside him, monitors beeping to show she was still alive.

"She didn't die, though?"

"No." God, it hurt to say that out loud. "She didn't die."

"What about you, though? Was she hurt the worst?"

"I shouldn't have survived." How many times had he heard the doctors say that over the years? It was only recently that he'd begun to be glad he was. "Compared to the three fractures in my spine, my other injuries were nothing – two broken ribs, broken leg and a few bleeding organs." He stood up, turning away from Blaine.

"Kurt…" Kurt's hands were trembling as they found the edge of his shirt and pulled it up. He'd never let Blaine see him without a shirt before and as a long, thick scar was revealed Blaine could guess why.

"This is why I won't take my shirt off in front of you," He said, fighting his instinct to pull the shirt down and cover himself up.

"May I?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded, closing his eyes even though Blaine was behind him. His breath caught when he felt fingers ghosting along his spine, tracing the scar.

"How can you even stand to look at me?"

"You're beautiful, Kurt. Your scars are just another part of you." His hand withdrew and Kurt pulled his shirt back down. He faced Blaine, trying to find any hint of a lie in the shorter boy's face but finding nothing.

"I'm honored you decided to trust me with this, but I don't understand –."

"I'm getting there, I promise," Kurt said. "When I woke up, I was in the hospital…"


	8. Chapter 8

_May 2, 2000_

His six year old eyes had never seen so many doctors in one place or so many machines beeping around him. The first thing he was aware of was a tube down his throat gagging him. He fought against it, coughing and clawing at his face until a young doctor was standing in front of him, holding him down.

"Kurt?" His dad's voice reached him a second before his image. "What's wrong with him? Someone help him!" The doctor called for someone to get his dad out, to which he only fought more. His struggles were made difficult by what felt like a whole body cast. He felt his arm burning and then darkness clouded his vision once again.

The next time he woke up his throat was burning but he no longer felt as if he was going to choke. He coughed a few times as his shuddering breaths irritated his throat. It was only a few seconds later that a nurse came into his room, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him from moving.

"You're gonna need to stay still, sweetie," She said gently. Kurt tried to say something that came out as a hoarse rasp, but the nurse seemed to know what he wanted. "You dad's just in with your mom now. He's fine, and the doctors think she'll be fine soon."

She smoothed his blankets and checked his readouts, clucking around like a mother hen but not saying much of anything. Kurt tried to talk again, to get her attention, and she turned around. "You know what, sweetie – I'm going to go get you some ice chips. That'll help your throat until the doctor gets in. And I'll swing by and tell your dad you're awake."

Kurt closed his eyes, surprised to find they were wet. To say he was terrified would be an understatement. The reason he'd stopped fighting hadn't been because of the nurse's arm, but because he was in a full body cast and movement was difficult. Not to mention painful. Now that he was awake, the pain was starting to increase. He was whimpering, not even aware that he was making a sound until the nurse came back in with the promised ice chips followed by footsteps that could only belong to his dad.

"How do you feel, Kurt?" Even more surprising than the wetness in his own eyes was that in his dad's. He'd never seen his dad cry ever, but from the shadows and redness, he'd been crying a lot recently. The ice chips soothed his throat a little and he swallowed deeply.

"W…What happened?" He asked. "Where's mom?"

"There was an accident," Burt said, taking a seat in the chair and landing heavily. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I'm so, so sorry." Kurt wanted to reassure his dad, but the only thing he could do was cry. They stayed like that – Kurt crying silently and Burt with his head in his hands, shaking but not crying because there were no tears left – for a long time. Finally, the doctor came in.

"Hi Kurt," The man said. "I'm Doctor Sean." It was the one Kurt had seen before. He was young, no older than Kurt's parents who were just under 30. His smile was reassuring and Kurt found his sobs subsiding. "It's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"It hurts," He said, his fingers twitching.

"Did your dad tell you what happened?" Kurt shook his head gently, looking over at his dad. "Well, Kurt – you're a very lucky man. You got hurt pretty badly but Doctor Ginny and I fixed you up and you'll be good as new in a few months. You're going to need to stay in this cast for a while, but I promise it'll get better."

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you to **Salazarfalcon, Maiqu, ifeellikeanartist, Sarahamanda, glee4ever4ever **and **TheOnyxRose** for reviewing the last chapter (and special thanks to **Sarahamanda** who I forgot to thank for reviewing chapter 6). Also, my computer is temporarily fixed so there shouldn't be a delay in updates.


	9. Chapter 9

_Present Day_

By the time Kurt finished telling Blaine the story, it was nearly ten and Kurt knew he would be in trouble when he finally called home. He was surprised he didn't have many missed calls from his dad. If he was five minutes late from a shopping date with Mercedes his phone practically exploded with all the incoming calls. And here he was, at ten pm on a family dinner night and Burt hadn't called once.

"Kurt?" There was concern in his dad's voice, but no real worry.

"I'm sorry I didn't call but – "

"Don't worry, son. Finn told me you were upset during practice and decided to head to Blaine's."

"Yeah. I'm…I'm still here now." Kurt silently reminded himself to thank Finn when he got home. Sometimes, his stepbrother could be insightful. "Can I stay over? It's a weekend night so I don't have to be back for class in the morning…"

"Are Blaine's parents going to be home?" Kurt winced. He knew his dad was going to ask. He also knew what his dad would say if he told the truth.

"Of course," He said. "They're at dinner now."

"Fine. It's probably better for you not to drive so late anyway."

"Thank you, dad," Kurt said, smiling at Blaine who just looked pensive.

"But Kurt – you and me are going to have a talk as soon as you get back."

"Okay, dad," Even the prospect of a Talk with his dad wasn't enough to convince him to head back to Lima in the middle of the night. "Bye."

"No later than noon, Kurt!" The words were spoken quickly before Kurt hung up the phone. He walked over to Blaine, sitting on the couch beside him, waiting for him to talk first. He only had to wait a few minutes.

"You need to talk to her, Kurt." They certainly weren't the words Kurt was expecting to hear. He drew back. He'd expected Blaine to understand – to sympathize with him. Not tell him he needed to talk to the one person he hated most in the world. "Just listen to me."

"No!" Kurt said, avoiding Blaine's attempt to set a hand on his knee. "She abandoned me, Blaine. She just…she left while I was in school. What part of that don't you understand?"

"She's still your mom, Kurt," Blaine said in the patient voice that normally comforted Kurt but now just made him want to hit something. "She obviously came back for something. I'm not saying what she did is okay or even that you forgive her, but you need to talk to her and find out why she's here."

"I hate you," Kurt said, pouting but not resisting when Blaine pulled him closer.

"I know," Blaine said, tilting his head up slightly and kissing Kurt gently. The sweetness of the kiss made Kurt want to cry. It also gave him the courage to admit Blaine was right. He needed to talk to Emily.

"In the morning, I'll talk to her. Okay?" Blaine's answer was to capture Kurt's lips in another kiss, tugging his hand and standing up without ever breaking their contact. His hands, strong and firm on Kurt's hips led him backwards towards the bedroom.

"So we have all night, then?" Blaine's tone was suggestive, and Kurt flushed, trying to catch his breath between ever more passionate kisses.

"I am not putting out, Blaine Warbler!" Kurt said, laughing. Even if it was only for a few hours, Kurt could forget about Emily's reappearance in his life and just enjoy much needed alone time with his boyfriend.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you **ifeellikeanartist, Sarahamanda, Maiqu, aflaskj.,** and **glee4ever4ever** for the lovely reviews! I promise Kurt's going to get answers about why his mom/Emily is back!


	10. Chapter 10

_ 17 August 2000_

The summer before second grade was spent lying in a bed, allowed to get up only to use the bathroom, and even that was only under supervision and with a wheelchair. He cried himself to sleep every night when his mother still hadn't come in to see him. His dad recovered quickly, having to work extra hours to pay for the live-in nurse they had to hire to take care of Kurt and Emily.

The nurse was nice, good at her job. She introduced herself as Susanne and looked fresh out of school. She always had a smile for Kurt and didn't complain even when he threw fits about being confined to the bed. The only time she left his side was when Emily called for something. Kurt always asked about his mom, but no one would give him any answers. They just said she would be fine. But why had it been three months without seeing her?

"I think you're ready to start physical therapy," The doctor said at one of his many appointments. "And we can take this cast off and replace it with a brace. How does that sound?"

Kurt smiled hesitantly, looking up at his dad whose smile was much broader. He just nodded, withdrawing away from the doctor by a fraction of an inch. He hated the doctor; they never said anything good and always poked him and took his blood. He still wasn't sure the promise about taking the cast off was true.

"Well then, I'll go get the tech and we can fit you for a brace." An hour and a half later, Kurt could move for the first time in three months. Each movement sent a jolt of pain through his body that had him whimpering until the brace was secured. Then his movement was restricted again, and the pain was less.

"Mr. Hummel," The doctor turned his attention to Burt. "Here's the card for Dr. Gunner – the physical therapist I told you about. He's expecting your call. I need you to understand that this is where the hard part starts. The surgery was successful, but Kurt's going to have to work hard to get the muscles back into condition. And there will always be ramifications – the rods we had to insert will keep his posture proper and the chance of reinjury will be great. So no contact sports. But I'm sure Dr. Gunner will go over all of this with you in more detail. Provided he keeps up with the physical therapy, there's no reason Kurt shouldn't go on to live a completely normal life."

"Thank you, Dr. Sean," Burt said, shaking the doctor's hand. "I can't thank you enough."

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you **Sarahamanda, Maiqu, ****glee4ever4ever **and **Holly-Anne Rivers** for the lovely reviews! From now on updates will be every day except Wednesday and Saturday (because I update my other story on those days).


	11. Chapter 11

_Present Day_

Kurt opened his eyes, the warmth against his back shifting and moaning. He leaned back, humming in contentment as the arm around his waist tightened. He felt warm lips on his neck. "Love you."

"Love you too," Kurt said, shifting in the arms so he was facing his boyfriend. Blaine in the morning was unkempt – his hair curling and sticking at odd angles, a light stubble coloring his jaw and scraping Kurt's clean face. Ignoring their morning breath, he pressed his lips to Blaine's. "Perfect."

He felt Blaine's hand on his hips, tracing circles with his thumbs as he deepened the kiss. Kurt tangled his own hands in Blaine's t-shirt. He wanted to be comfortable enough to go further, but he felt the panic rising as he felt Blaine's hands wander. Blaine felt him tense and stopped moving.

"Too fast?" Kurt felt his cheeks burn.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Blaine said, kissing his jaw lightly before pulling away so they were no longer touching. "I told you, we've got all the time in the world."

"I know. But we've been together for almost six months. I should be better at this." It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to go further, he was just…what? Afraid Blaine wouldn't love him if he lost his strict control? Be disappointed by him? They were stupid insecurities, but he just couldn't move past them.

His thoughts strayed to Emily. She'd left because he wasn't a good enough. He'd tried so hard since then to make himself perfect, but what if he still wasn't? What if she stayed long enough to get his hopes up, to get to know him, and then left again? He wasn't entirely certain he could survive it again.

"You're thinking so loud I can almost hear you," Blaine said, his laugh vibrating under Kurt's ear tucked under Blaine's chin.

"What if I'm…disappointing?" If it was anyone other than Blaine, Kurt would have sunk into the ground and vanished. But it was Blaine, and Blaine loved him.

"Nothing could disappoint me about you Kurt," Blaine's frown was evident in his voice even though Kurt couldn't see his expression. "But I don't think we're talking about us. If your mom can't see how wonderful you are, it's not because there's something wrong with you. It's her."

"But…"

"No," Blaine said, shutting Kurt up with a kiss. "You're an amazing person – the most amazing person I know. End of story. And now we should get up so you can get back before Burt comes to kill me."

Kurt scrunched up his nose, laughing. "He'd never do that. He likes you. However grounding for eternity won't be unreasonable if I don't make it back soon."

It didn't take nearly long enough for them to shower (separately) and get dressed. Kurt tried to delay, asking Blaine for the millionth time if he was _sure_ he didn't need Kurt's help to clean up the mess they'd made in the kitchen. Finally, Blaine all but dragged him out to his car.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Blaine asked again.

"Of course I want you to come," Kurt said. "But this is something I have to do alone, I think. Maybe…maybe if everything goes well you'll meet her soon?"

"Alright," Blaine said, closing Kurt's door behind him as he got in. "Text me if you need me, okay?"

"Promise." Kurt leaned over, kissing Blaine chastely before rolling up the window and starting his car.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you **Maiqu, ****glee4ever4ever **and **EragonArya** for the lovely reviews!


	12. Chapter 12

_28 August 2000_

"I don't want to go!" Kurt's small hands pushed at his dad. He ignored the twinge of pain in his anger, clutching the sheets of the bed as if that could stop his dad from lifting him up. Burt just hesitated, arms reaching out but too afraid of hurting his son to actually make him move. "Where's mommy? I won't go until I see mommy!"

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel…" Kurt recognized the tone in his dad's voice and tears sprang to his eyes.

"Where is she?" He asked. "Doesn't she want to see me?"

"Kurt…" All anger had drained from Burt's tone and carriage. "Of course she does. But mommy isn't feeling well right now. Soon, I promise. But only if you come with me to therapy."

Kurt frowned, brow creasing. He didn't like therapy. The doctors were all nice, but he always hurt more after leaving and he wasn't allowed to take any extra pain medicine. But if going meant he could see his mom again…Finally, he nodded.

"Can I see mommy after?" He asked, pushing himself into a sitting position and sliding himself to the edge of the bed. He placed his feet on the ground, reaching out a hand which Burt took, steadying him as he stood. He lowered himself into the wheelchair, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"We'll see," Burt said, wheeling him out of the room. Kurt's bedroom was in the basement, but with the wheelchair he had been relocated to the spare bedroom on the first floor. Kurt tried not to be disappointed – 'we'll see' was his dad's way of saying 'no' without saying it. He couldn't count the number of times he'd heard that response to his questions for the last few months.

The drive to the physical therapist's office was short. Kurt was too tired by the exercise of getting out of the wheelchair and into the car – something he'd only successfully done two other times – to talk. The office itself was similar to the hospital. There were more plants and pictures, but Kurt tuned them out as his dad pushed him down a labyrinth of halls and into the kid's room.

This room was more ornate. The floor looked like it belonged at a gymnastics studio – all padded surfaces that would cushion a fall. Along the wall were boxes of toys, some Kurt recognized and more that he didn't, to help with the therapy. So far he hadn't used any, but the doctor promised him he would eventually.

"Hey there, Kurt," Dr. Gunner said, walking in a few minutes after the nurse who led them in left. "How do you feel today?" It was a stupid question. Kurt felt tired and sore and he just wanted to see his mom. He didn't say any of that, just looking up at the middle aged man with a blank expression.

"I know it's rough, but it's only going to get better," Dr. Gunner took his silence in stride. "So how about we get you up out of that wheel chair? Did you practice yesterday?" Kurt said nothing, looking at the floor. Burt answered for him. No, Kurt hadn't done his exercises. He was too tired. His stomach hurt. He had a headache. Kurt had made an excuse every time his dad offered to help, even refusing Susanne's coercions which were usually enough to get him out of bed.

"You have to practice at home, Kurt," The doctor said, kneeling down so he was on Kurt's level. "Can you promise me?" Kurt glanced back at his dad, whose eyes were begging Kurt to agree with the doctor. He nodded, once. He didn't mean it, but at least it got everyone to shut up.

"Alright. Now let's start with twenty seconds, okay?" It was grueling. Even standing was more than Kurt could handle. In the three months of lying in a bed in a cast, his muscles had begun to atrophy. Despite his tiny stature, he just couldn't hold himself up. He made it to thirty five seconds that day, falling back into the chair, huffing and trying to catch his breath. He didn't feel like the cheering coming from Dr. Gunner or his dad was real. He just wanted to see his mom.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you** glee4ever4ever, Sarahamanda, WhenRiversTurnToRoads **and **depp'sdarling **for the reviews on the last chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

_Present Day  
><em>

Burt was waiting in the living room when Kurt got home. Kurt surreptitiously glanced around hoping to catch a sign of movement that meant Finn or Carol was home. If they were there the chance that his dad would yell was much less.

"I'm not mad." Obviously Kurt hadn't been as stealthy as he thought. "Sit down, Kurt."

Kurt did, watching his dad from the corner of his eye. Normally he wouldn't hesitate to defend himself, but the less questions his dad asked, the less Kurt would have to say. He didn't want to lie, he respected his dad too much, but he couldn't let anyone know about Emily's reappearance. Not yet. "Hey dad."

"How's Blaine?"

"He's good," Kurt said, a small smile appearing on his lips that seemed to find its way there whenever he talked or even thought about Blaine. "I'm sorry about not coming home last night but…"

"You're almost eighteen, Kurt. And I trust you." The words made Kurt feel bad that he'd lied about Blaine's parents, but it wasn't the time to confess that right now. "But I just want you to know that no matter how old you get, you can always talk to me, alright?"

"I know," Kurt hung his head. He did know, and he hated that this was something he couldn't talk about with his dad.

"So…" Burt looked at him expectantly. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"

Kurt shook his head, wishing he could just sink into the chair and vanish. He knew his dad was going to love him no matter what. "I was just worried about senior year, you know. It's really just starting to dawn on me that in a year I'll be in New York and Blaine will still be here. I guess I kind of freaked out."

"I'm sure you two will work it out." It was obvious to Kurt that his dad wasn't buying his excuse, but he wasn't going to call Kurt out on it.

"That's what Blaine said. I guess I was just worried about nothing." Kurt stood up, inching his way to the basement stairs. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I promise I won't do anything like that again."

"Uh…sure. Alright, son." Kurt heard his dad's words follow him as he took the basement stairs two at a time.

He sent a quick text to Blaine to let him know he was home safe after powering on his computer. Luckily there were only a handful of hotels in Lima. He could eliminate a few right off the bat – Emily would never be caught dead in anything that got less than two stars. He called the first two, only to receive a dial tone after he asked for an Emily staying there.

"Hello, this is Lima Heights Inn, Henry speaking – how may I help you?"

"Do you have an Emily staying there? She would have checked in yesterday or the day before." Kurt held his breath, hoping this would be the last place he called.

"Is this Kurt?"

"Yes." He said. Had Emily told them he would call? Had she known, or was it wishful thinking?

"Please hold. I'll transfer you."

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><p><strong>AN: **This story is on 111 Alerts. That's crazy to me. You guys are all so amazing. I'm thinking there are only going to be 20-25 chapters total in this. My original plan was to only have 10, so I'm obviously not on a strict plan.

Special thanks to **Sarahamanda**, **Maiqu**, **glee4ever4ever**, **WhenRiversTurnToRoads**, **imalemonaddictt**, and **Mimiheart** for the awesome reviews. I'm so glad you guys are liking this.

Also, my computer is fixed so updates are going to be easier (tonight was obviously a special case xx; ).


	14. Chapter 14

_24 August 2002_

"Sir, what would you like it to say?" The man behind the counter was patient. Kurt had heard him repeat the question twice but his dad still said nothing. Finally, Kurt reached out and touched his dad's hand. That jarred Burt back to reality and he caught the tail end of the question.

"Oh…Just her name, Emily Grace Hummel, and the dates - 1973-2002."

"Are you certain? No quote or poem?"

"No," Kurt had never heard his dad's voice go that hard. It upset him more than a little and, to keep his promise of not showing weakness in front of his dad, he slid away to look at some of the statues arrayed on the floor.

It had been almost two weeks and Emily had made good on her promise never to come back. After his initial sadness, he had nothing left but anger towards his mother. The past two years had been torture for their whole family, and she hadn't done anything to make it better. He wished…he wished she'd died in the accident.

As soon as he thought it, he felt bad. He didn't want her dead – he just wanted his mother back. He wished the accident had never happened. How many nights had he lain awake and wanted to see the clock go back? But it was over now. Emily had given up and walked out on them, and he needed to be strong to help his dad get through it.

It had been his suggestion that they get a grave for her. His dad had protested at first, but then admitted it would be a good way to put Emily in the past and move on. The land had been purchased – the cheapest plot available in the small graveyard across town from their house – and all that was left was a headstone.

The work in this store was beautiful, and the man behind the counter was obviously disappointed that they weren't interested in buying any of his more ornate pieces. That didn't mean Kurt couldn't appreciate them, though. He walked past the angels with a sneer – he didn't believe in any God, and if one existed he obviously didn't care about Kurt – and into a section comprised of animals. He had to restrain himself from reaching out to settle a hand on a life sized dog statue. He could almost imagine the whole thing shaking loose of the grey stone and running around the store. An involuntary giggle escaped his lips and both adult eyes turned to him.

"Come on, Kurt," His dad said, thanking the man who helped them and turning to leave.

"I'll have it done in a week." Kurt sighed, walking over to his dad, two or three steps for each one of Burt's. In a week, this would all be put behind them.

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><p><strong>AN: **Special thanks to **Sarahamanda**, **Maiqu**, **glee4ever4ever** and **Broadway and West end lover **for the reviews!

Don't forget to pay attention to the dates! It's going to get a little mixed up here.


	15. Chapter 15

_Present Day  
><em>

"Kurt?" When Emily's voice came in it was out of breath, as if she'd run to answer the phone. His heart clenched, and he had to close his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. How could he love her so much and hate her at the same time? "Is that you, Kurt?"

"Yes." He kept his voice level, hoping the slight tremble wasn't obvious.

"I'm sorry for showing up at your school like that. It was the only way I knew to find you without…"

"Without dad finding out?" He guessed.

"Yes. Can we talk, Kurt? In person? I…I really would like to get to know you." He was silent for a long time. She said nothing, letting him think. He didn't want to see her. A small part of him did, but mostly he wanted her to go away and let him go back to pretending she was dead. Blaine's words played in the back of his mind and he relented.

"Fine. I'll see you at the Lima Bean in twenty minutes." He hung up, not waiting for a reply. If she wanted to see him, she would be there. If not, he would get a coffee and text Mercedes to meet at the mall afterwards.

She was waiting when he pulled up. He would recognize her anywhere, and she obviously recognized him because she took a few steps towards him. He steeled himself, repeating Blaine's opinion that he at least hear her out, and walked towards her.

"Emily," He forced out a tight smile at her broad one. She seemed genuinely glad to see him.

"Burt won't…"

"He doesn't come here, if you're worried about that," He snapped. He hadn't meant to sound so mean, especially since he didn't want his dad to know about her either, but for some reason it bothered him that she was going behind his back.

"Kurt…It's not…" He held up a hand.

"I don't care. I'm not here for you. Someone I trust told me I should at least hear you out, so I'm trying to take his advice. So let's get a coffee, you can tell me the speech you've practiced and I'll pretend to care and then I can tell Blaine that we talked."

"Is Blaine your…"

"Boyfriend." He said, too angry to feel the faint blush that always accompanied admitting it out loud. He glanced over at her, trying to gauge her reaction. To her credit, she took it in stride. But then his dad said his sexual orientation had been obvious since he was three.

"How long?"

"Almost six months," He said, a smile touching his lips despite his best attempt at keeping it away. "Go get a table and I'll get our drinks. What do you want?"

"Black coffee. But I can pay," She handed him a twenty and he took it. If she wanted to buy his affection, he would certainly let her try. It was a testament to how often he'd been here that the barista greeted him by name, asking if he wanted the regular order and asked after Blaine.

"Thank you for meeting me, Kurt. Even if it wasn't entirely your choice. I do appreciate it." She took the drink, sipping it slowly. He didn't touch his own drink yet, clenching it in his hands to keep them from shaking and giving away his anger or nerves.

"Why? After all this time? Why did you show up after everything in my life finally started to get good?" She looked down, looking for all the world like a child and not a grown woman. If anything, though, it made Kurt even angrier. He wasn't sure if it was anger at her, or at himself for being so mean.

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><p><strong>AN: **Special thanks to **Sarahamanda**, **Maiqu**, **imalemonaddictt, RazorGirl** and **Steffi Star** for the reviews!

And today is still Tuesday because I haven't fallen asleep yet. (: Yup, that's how it works.


	16. Chapter 16

_10 September 2000_

Kurt walked into the kitchen by himself for the first time, shocking his dad who was sitting at the table. Burt stood up quickly, pulling out a chair and hovering over Kurt until he sat in it, panting and sweating but without too much pain. "I can walk alone now – where's mommy?"

"Burt!" Kurt turned quickly, just in time to see his mother walk in to the room.

"Mommy!" He wanted to leap up, to run to her and hug her, but he was just too tired and he ended up falling out of the chair.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Susanne asked, kneeling down beside him. His dad was beside her, looking like he was going to be sick. Kurt just nodded, tears spilling over.

"Who is that boy, Burt?" He looked up at his mom, relying on Susanne to support his weight back into the chair.

"I told you, Emily. That's Kurt. Your son." Kurt looked over at his dad, noticing how tired the man looked before looking back at his mom. He didn't understand what was happening. Why didn't his mom recognize him?

"How about we get you a bath and then back to bed, kiddo?" Susanne asked, bringing his wheelchair. He was too upset to do anything but let her help him in to it.

When they were in the bathroom, he dared to talk. "Why doesn't mommy know who I am?"

"Well, kiddo. She hit her head really hard in the accident. She's just a little confused now is all." Kurt frowned. How could his own mother not know who he was? He felt the tears start again and wiped them off on his sleeve. "Don't cry, Kurt. Everything will work out. You'll see."

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><p>AN: Thank you to **Maiqu, Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, RazorGirl, **and **Kluddlesforallxx **for the awesome reviews!

Just when my computer gets fixed, the internet goes. Isn't life funny? I'll have a second chapter up later tonight, I promise.


	17. Chapter 17

_Present Day_

"You're my son, Kurt." She said. "I have a right to get to know my own son, don't I?"

"You gave up that right when you walked out," He hissed, not wanting to draw attention. "We're happy now. Dad's married again. I have a stepbrother, too. We fight all the time, but I know he'll always be there for me, and I would do anything for him. I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me. I have the best friends in the world and they accept me with all of my faults. It was hard, but we're finally happy."

"And I'm so, so happy for you," Her words were sincere. "And I didn't come here to ruin that. But…"

"Did your memory come back?" It was the question he wanted to know the answer for. Her expression said everything.

"Not exactly." She admitted. "Kurt – I remember how I acted those last two years and I am so sorry about that. I was terrible. Did…did Burt ever tell you what happened?"

Kurt tried to remember. He'd been so young, he hadn't even been told the full extent of his injuries. Or if he had, he didn't remember. "Just that you hit your head."

"Burt was trying to protect you." She said, smiling fondly. "I…I think I could have come to love him, if I wasn't so angry at him. I knew it wasn't his fault, but he was driving. And…Anyway. Do you know what retrograde amnesia is?"

Kurt shook his head, not able to talk. "It's when you can't remember past events. I could make new memories, but I thought it was 1990 and I was still in college. I had no idea who Burt was or who you were."

"Was it caused by the accident?"

"Yes. I had to have surgery for an intracerebral hemorrhage, but the doctors said the amnesia would most likely have happened anyway." She closed her eyes for the next part but Kurt didn't look away. "They said if the memories didn't come back in two years, it was likely they never would."

"So you just left. You were always planning on leaving?" He wished his voice didn't sound so childish, but he suddenly felt like one again. He felt like he was eight years old, lying in bed wishing for his mom to come back, silently yelling at whatever higher power existed. He'd promised to go to church or temple or whatever else religions do if his mom would come back.

"Kurt, you have to understand. The memory loss wasn't the only thing that accident caused. A few years ago I was diagnosed with depression. It took until I tried to kill myself for anyone to figure it out. I'm on medication now. I've been going to therapy too." She reached across the table for his hand but he pulled it back, leaning back in his chair. She looked sad for a moment, a shadow passing across her face. "I'm not trying to make excuses for my behavior, but I was sick. I was sick, but now I'm better. And I guess...I guess I just wanted to get to know you."

"So why now?"

"Dr. Kitner – my psychiatrist – thought it would be a good idea."

Kurt couldn't help it, he had to laugh. This was a joke, right? His mother showed up out of nowhere because some stupid doctor told her she should. What was he supposed to say? 'Sure mom. Even though you walked out on us when I was eight years old and you never contacted us again, I can forgive you so you can tell your stupid doctor you did what he said and he can put a check mark on some stupid list.'

"I have to go." He stood up. When she made to do the same he shook his head. "Goodbye, Emily."

He called Blaine as soon as he got to the car, laughing hysterically for a few minutes before he could get any words out. "Her shrink told her to come." For some reason, that was just so ridiculous he had to start laughing again. Blaine was patient, waiting until he subsided into giggles before talking.

"Is that all she wanted to tell you?"

"Well, that and that she was always going to leave. Nothing I could have done would change that. I spent two years trying to be perfect for her, and it didn't even matter. I was six years old and she knew what she was doing to me." Somewhere the laughter turned in to tears, and he was clenching the steering wheel for support. "What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you." Blaine said. "Where are you at, Kurt?"

"Lima Bean parking lot." Kurt said.

"Call Finn or Mercedes and have them pick you up. You shouldn't drive right now."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." He said, not knowing who he was trying to convince.

"You're upset, Kurt. You need someone to come get you. If you won't call someone, then I will. But I will not have you crashing and ending up in a ditch. Please, Kurt. Just have one of your friends drive you home."

"Fine. I will. But…can you call? Call Finn, okay?"

"Okay, Kurt. And then I'm calling you right back. I love you."

"I love you too."

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you to **Maiqu, Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, **and ** RazorGirl** for the awesome reviews!

I was getting ready to post this and then I decided to rewrite it.


	18. Chapter 18

_31 August 2002_

The funeral was a quiet affair. A few other people besides Kurt and his dad were there, most of them friends of Emily's who knew what had happened. Everyone wore black except Kurt. He wore grey – 'charcoal, dad. It's charcoal' – dress pants and a button down blue – 'powder blue, dad. It's not _that_ hard' – dress shirt.

"Would anyone care to say a few words?" The preacher asked, looking out at the group. A few people volunteered, but Kurt wasn't one of them. He listened without interest as people talked about how much they would miss Emily.

After the brief ceremony, everyone filed back for a reception. Burt noticed Kurt hadn't moved. "You coming, kiddo?"

"In a minute," Kurt said, eyes never leaving the gravestone.

"Alright. Just don't wander off." Kurt felt his dad's hand on his shoulder lightly before it was removed. He waited until he couldn't hear footsteps anymore to kneel down.

"I miss you, mom." The words sounded strange to his ears, but he kept talking. "You've been dead for a long time, even though everyone said you would come back. It's not fair. I miss you all the time." He didn't realize he was crying until he felt the tears dripping down his cheek. He didn't think he had any tears left to cry after his breakdown in his dad's arms, but once they started, they never ended. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he heard steps coming up behind him.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" It was the preacher, an older man. "Would you like to say a prayer for her with me?" Kurt stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

"No." He didn't know how much his dad had told the preacher – if the man knew there was no body or if he thought Emily had actually died. "I prayed for my mom come back, and she didn't. God doesn't exist, and if he does, then he doesn't love me."

With those final words, he turned around and walked away, shoulders tall. As far as he was concerned, all religion was for was to give people false hope. He'd never seen anything god could do, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure he even cared anymore. It was time to grow up.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you to **Maiqu, Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****RazorGirl**, **EllaCrain **and **bang3045** for the awesome reviews!

And to **bang3045** (since you weren't logged in, I couldn't send you a PM (: ) - You brought up a lot of good points that I hadn't necessarily considered. I do not have the ending planned out yet (shhh...don't tell everyone else that. I totally know what I'm doing xD ), and I'll definitely take in to consideration everything you said.


	19. Chapter 19

_Present Day_

Kurt would have recognized Finn's driving even if his stepbrother wasn't in the familiar beat-up Buick. Kurt's dad had offered to get Finn a nicer car after he and Carol married, but Finn had mumbled something about a mailman before declining. Normally Kurt would rather walk than get in a car with Finn, but he didn't trust that he would make it home.

Kurt gave Finn a shaky smile as he slid in the car. Sitting back against the dirty leather seats, he forgot for a minute how long it had taken him to do his hair that morning. Skin and hair care had taken a back seat to his other problems.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kurt opened his eyes to see the car veer off the road and Finn's eyes on him.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Finn!" He snapped, grasping the edge of the seat. "Nothing's wrong."

"You suck at lying," Finn said, turning back to look at the road. "First of all, Blaine sounded like…well, his voice sounded like yours. All high pitched and girly and stuff." Kurt glared at him for that comment, prepared to launch an insult of his own but Finn kept talking. "And your hair is touching the seat. Plus you didn't complain about how my car smells – which is so not from that time Puck puked because he cleaned that up, plus I don't smell anything."

"Rachel doesn't give you enough credit. You're pretty insightful." He tried to change the subject, but Finn wasn't willing to give up that easily.

"If you won't tell me, I'll have to tell your dad." That got Kurt's attention.

"Don't you dare, Finn Hudson. Unless you want me to tell you about the time I walked in on Mr. Schue and Emma in the choir room…"

"God, Kurt! Shut up!" He took his hands off the wheel and held them over his ears. Kurt lunged over, correcting their course.

"Then don't mention anything to my dad." Finn took the wheel back.

"How bad is it? I mean, you tell your dad everything." They pulled into the driveway and Kurt was relieved to see his dad's car missing.

"What will it take to get you to drop this?"

"You're my little brother, Kurt. It's my job to protect you." It was always shocking to hear Finn say things like that, but right now Kurt wished he wouldn't.

"I'm older than you." Kurt pointed out with a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"By like a week. Besides, I'm bigger."

"What if I said I was protecting you by not telling you?" Finn said nothing, giving Kurt a look that made the smaller boy sigh. "Fine. But lunch first."

Kurt wasn't hungry, but like two nights before, the time it took to make the meal gave him a chance to gather his thoughts. He didn't know how much he should tell Finn. In the end, he decided on everything, even a few things he didn't tell Blaine.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you to **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****RazorGirl**, and **Potrix! **I love reading your reviews!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

**WARNINGS/TRIGGERS: **Mentions of Alcoholism.

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><p><em>December 5, 2000<em>

"Emily, you need to take me to school." After three months, Kurt was finally able to make it through the whole day without a wheelchair or walker. When he got to school, that is. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays his dad could take him, but Tuesday and Thursdays the garage opened early and it was up to Emily to drive him across town to Lima Elementary.

"Not today," The lump in the bed snapped, rolling over. Kurt withdrew, taking off his shoes and setting his jacket on the chair. He'd already eaten breakfast so he put in a movie and curled up on the couch. The opening credits of 'Beauty and the Beast' started up and he tried to forget that his teacher had just got in new dress-up clothes and promised he could go to that center first today.

He was expecting the phone call at 8:30 and answered, listening to the prerecorded message stating that 'Kur Tummel' was missing from school and to please call in next time. The Beast and Bell were singing and throwing snowballs when Emily emerged from the bedroom. She didn't even glance at him as she walked through straight to the kitchen.

After watching two more movies – 'Anastasia' and 'The Little Mermaid' – it was time for lunch. Emily was sitting in the kitchen, an empty cup in her hand and a half-full bottle sitting beside it. As he pulled out the sandwich and carrot sticks his dad had packed for his lunch, she poured another drink.

"What are you drinking, mo-Emily?" He asked, curious. It smelled a little like trees, but also kind of bitter. It made him wrinkle his nose when he sat down close to her at the table. "Can I have some?"

"It's only for adults." She said. "And don't tell B-your dad. It's gonna be out little secret." The smile she gave him was so much like the ones he'd received every day before the accident that he would have agreed to anything.

Their secret continued, and Kurt saw no harm in it. It wasn't until his first grade year when he was paired with an unpleasant boy named Noah Puckerman that he found out what exactly his mom was drinking. They had to work on an assignment together – making a diorama of the thanksgiving scene – and Emily wouldn't let them do it at the Hummel household so Burt dropped Kurt off at Noah's. He walked in and wrinkled his nose, that familiar smell saturating the house.

"Uh…Just wait outside. I'll go get the shit for our project." Kurt was happy to do so, but not before he asked why the whole house smelled that bad.

"Mom's drinking again." He paused, sniffing faintly. "Gin today, so it's a bad day. I'll be right back." Kurt just nodded, wondering if when Emily drank it was because it was a bad day. If so, every day seemed to be pretty bad.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, Tess-the-Mess**, and **bang3045! **

**bang3045 - **This chapter answers your question, but yup - there still be flashbacks. Although the whole thing is drawing to a close.

Fun fact: Originally this story was going to have a Kinn (Kurt/Finn) pairing. **  
><strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

"Say something, Finn," Kurt said, looking intently at his stepbrother who was staring at the table. The wrinkle in his forehead told Kurt that Finn was thinking. Normally Kurt would wait until Finn was finished, but it had been five minutes since anyone said anything and Kurt's stomach was churning.

"Does my mom know?" It wasn't quite the reaction Kurt was expecting. "About your mom not really being dead?"

"No." Kurt's voice was hoarse and the word was hardly above a whisper. "Finn – my mom is dead. Whoever that person is now, she's not my mother. You have to understand that."

"Yeah – no, Kurt. I don't. My dad is dead. His body isn't walking around. Your mom is alive, walking around Lima wanting to get to know you. If it was my dad, even if he didn't remember me, I'd want to know him." Kurt leaned back as if struck. Finn's tone was the harshest Kurt had ever heard it.

"You don't understand –"

"You have a chance to know her! I'd give anything for that. And you're wasting it!" Finn shook his head, hands leaning heavily on the table.

"She was a drunk, Finn. For two years, she was sober only a handful of days. She used to yell at me for hours if I did anything wrong. Once I spilled milk in the carpet and she told me I was clumsy and worthless. I had a bruise on my arm for weeks where she grabbed me. That wasn't my mother!" Kurt was shouting through the tears, standing braced against the table. "I never should have told you anything!"

"I'm sorry, Kurt." Finn said. "I just…"

"Forget it," Kurt said. "Just don't tell our parents. I'm going to handle this, and it isn't any of your business anyway. Goodnight."

All of his energy drained when he walked through his room and he slumped against the wall. He slid down it, landing on the ground roughly and hugging his knees. He stayed there until the tears dried again, ignoring the stains on his designer jeans from where the foundation he wore rubbed off.

He felt like the bad guy. First Blaine was telling him to go and talk to her, to give her a chance. And now Finn was giving him a hard time because he didn't want to get to know her. Why didn't they understand how horrible it had been?

They couldn't understand. They didn't know what it was like waking up every morning knowing that someone who looked and sounded like the most important person in your life was going to ignore you or criticize you. They didn't understand the agony of relearning the most basic tasks at six years old and not even having a mother to encourage you.

He wasn't going to give her another chance. He'd listened to what she had to say, and his mind hadn't changed. This wasn't a decision he could let someone else make for him.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, Tess-the-Mess**, **Potrix, Maiqu, RazorGirl, bang3045 **and** ifeellikeanartist.**

**bang3045 - **I'm sorry that happened to your family. ): I'm grateful every day for mine as well. And at least Kurt has Burt, right?

**ifeellikeanartist - **I'm glad I went with Klaine as well!

**Potrix **- I love that Finn and Kurt are brothers, but there needs to be more of their bonding or whatever (that little bit in Prom Queen was awesome.)


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>3 November 2002<em>

Everything changed after Emily left and the funeral was over. His dad had to take him to school every morning and bring him home in the afternoons, so he ended up having to go back in and work into the night. Kurt pretended like he didn't mind being in the house alone.

The first time he made dinner it was only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bagged chips. His dad got home at eight from the garage and for the first time since the funeral, he smiled. "Thanks kiddo."

Kurt preened under the attention, pretending like he didn't care as they ate the meal in silence. When they finished, they retired to their respective rooms for bed, knowing the next day would just be a repeat of this one.

Kurt lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, after his nightly skin care ritual. His best memories of his mother, not Emily, were sitting with her in the morning and night when she got ready for the day or bed. She would let him use some of the creams, but she always sang. Sometimes he would sing with her, envious of the way her voice seemed to fill the house with happiness regardless the song. Emily never sang, even though he'd asked her to. After he could walk again, he'd snuck in to his parent's bathroom and stolen all the skin care products. He'd added a few steps after doing a little research, but for the most part he'd kept her routine the same.

He missed his dad. It was bad enough that his mom was gone, leaving a void that he'd pretended wasn't there for two years. Sometimes he wished Emily would come back, but then he would remember all the bad and be glad she was gone.

But Burt was still here. He knew his dad loved him, but sometimes that didn't seem like enough. Sometimes he felt like everyone in his life was slipping away from him. First his mom, now his dad. He was so afraid of being a disappointment. If only he could be better, maybe his dad wouldn't leave him.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****Potrix, Maiqu, RazorGirl,**** gleekforever63, lillybean queen of the i ocean **and **imalemonaddictt.**

Also, keep in mind we're only getting one (very biased) point of view on all this. Not to say Kurt isn't justified in his feelings, but there are two sides to every story and sometimes it is impossible to see both, especially in something so confusing and emotional as this.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

Kurt knew something was up the moment he pulled in to the driveway. He was pretty sure he would have known even without the strange car parked in the street in front of their house. His only hope is that Carol drove Burt to the garage and the fact that her car is missing and his isn't doesn't mean that he's at home.

The sound of tense conversation can be heard the moment Kurt walks in the door. Even though individual words can't be made out, he recognized both voices and the knowledge made his heart stutter to a stop.

"Is that you, Kurt?" He heard his dad call out. It was impossible to decode the meaning behind them, and Kurt knew what the response would be if he answered. He decided to just walk to the kitchen, wishing that he was mistaken. _She_ couldn't be here.

"What do you want now?" The harsh words weren't for his dad and everyone knew it. His eyes were focused on Emily who was sitting at the table looking guilty.

"Kurt – "She rose, taking a step towards him but Burt held out a hand and she stopped. Kurt also stopped from where he was getting ready to turn and leave.

"Emily told me she's spoken to you a few times in the past few days," It was impossible to guess what Burt was thinking, even though both set of eyes were focused on him. "She also told me why she's here, and she hasn't been entirely truthful." There was a distinct hardness in his voice now and Kurt shifted ever so slightly towards his dad.

"Burt – " But he wasn't done talking and his harsh glance once again shut her up.

"When she tells you, I want you to remember that this is your choice, and I will support you no matter what you decide." Kurt nodded, swallowing. He'd already made his choice, hadn't he? He opened his mouth to say so but Emily beat him to it.

"I have liver disease, Kurt." He closed his mouth, reevaluating what he was going to say.

"So get a transplant." Even as he said the words he knew she had to have considered that. It was a stupid thing to say, but he hadn't been expecting that.

"Ohio law requires alcoholics to be sober for six months. I'm only 90 days."

"What do you want from me?" He still wasn't grasping what she wanted. Did she want to get to know him before she died?

"There's a chance you can be a match." Oh. Everything clicked in the place, and all his anger drained away. "It's a quick test. Please, Kurt?"

He couldn't process what was going on. He glanced from his dad to Emily and back, mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. He turned on his heel and ran out the door, colliding with the person who was walking up the steps. He didn't know how Blaine knew he would need him, but he had never been happier to see his boyfriend.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****Potrix, Maiqu, **and **lillybean queen of the i ocean ****.**

So what do you guys think? Should Kurt go get tested, or should he not?


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>December 25, 2000<em>

Kurt tiptoed out to the living room Christmas morning, hoping to peek at the presents before his parents woke up. For the past three months he had been asking for the same thing – for Santa to bring back his mother's memories.

Surveying the presents, he felt his stomach drop. He didn't know what memories would look like with wrapping and a bow, but he was pretty sure none of these were them. He wanted to go wake his parents up, but walking was still a huge effort and he decided to sit on the couch for a minute to rest, fighting back tears.

When he woke again it was to his parent's voices in the kitchen. His dad was obviously trying to stay quiet, but his mother's answers were in shrieks. "It's nine in the morning, Emily. It's too early to be drinking."

"For god's sake – it's a holiday! Plus, I'll need it if I have to waste my morning watching that brat open presents."

"I do not want to hear you talk about our son like that. You are my wife – somewhere inside you is the person I fell in love with, but Kurt is my kid. I'll always choose him over you."

The conversation drifted away from his ears, or it could be that the pillow he covered his head with drowned out the sound. A few minutes later he pulled the pillow away, hoping their conversation would be over.

"I'm sorry, Burt. I'm so, so sorry." Emily's tears broke Kurt's heart and he forced his body up, rushing the walk to the kitchen.

"Hey kiddo. I didn't know you were up already." His dad said when he walked in. Burt was standing, arms crossed against the counter and Emily was sitting at the table, sobbing in to her hands.

"What's wrong with mommy?" He asked.

"We just had a disagreement." Burt said, walking over. "Let's go open some presents. Mommy will be out in a minute."

Kurt took his dad's hand, walking out with him and using him for support. When he glanced back over his shoulder, his mother's dry eyes were following him and she lifted her glass to her lips.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****Potrix, ****lillybean queen of the i ocean, ifeellikeanartist, Mimiheart, Salazarfalcon, lovebugg22, EllaCrain, RazorGirl **and **bang3045. **I am absolutely overwhelmed by the response on the last chapter! 

Next chapter we'll find out Kurt's decision! It's so interesting to get your opinions on it, and I absolutely take everything you say in your reviews in consideration for how this story will play out. (This will be a bit longer than 25 chapters, obviously. You'll know when it's over, I promise). **  
><strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

It took Blaine a few minutes to get Kurt to calm down and stop trying to drag him to the car, but finally they were sitting on the front step, Kurt leaning against Blaine and one of Blaine's arms settled around his shoulders holding him up. Or that's how it felt to Kurt, who was pretty sure he would fall through the cracks if Blaine ever let go.

In stuttering sentences, Kurt managed to tell Blaine everything that happened. It was only when he was finished that he realized_ Blaine_ was at his house. He pulled away, keeping his fingers entwined with Blaine's hand that hadn't been around his shoulder. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I was already on my way to the Lima Bean when you texted and you sounded so upset. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I can leave if you want me to. It's just…I worry about you, Kurt." His expression was apologetic and Kurt leaned over to kiss the worry off his lips.

"No. It's perfect. _You're_ perfect."

"You're pretty perfect yourself." Blaine said, swinging his knees slightly and hitting Kurt's gently. They sat for a few moments in silence, as close together as they could get without actually sitting on each other's lap.

"So what are you going to do?" Blaine broke the silence, tilting his head towards the house just enough so Kurt knew what he was talking about. As if he could forget.

"She's horrible. But…" He trailed off, eyes looking at the lawn like grass was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. He couldn't believe he was even considering this. She'd abandoned him. She was an alcoholic. She put herself in this situation.

"But she's you're mom." Blaine finished. Kurt shook his head.

"She isn't my mother." How often had he said those words? "What would you do?"

"I can't make the decision for you," Blaine said. Kurt said nothing and Blaine sighed. "I wouldn't do it. I can't even begin understand how you feel, but if it was me, I wouldn't be able to do it. She's asking you to give her an organ, Kurt. The recovery would be weeks. Then you'd have to catch back up in school, and it's your senior year when you can't afford to fall behind."

Blaine's answer shocked Kurt slightly. Kurt had assumed, after how much effort Blaine put in to urging Kurt to reach out to Emily, he would be all for going to get the test. Also, hearing the reasoning out loud, it made Kurt reevaluate his own thoughts and his own reasons.

"Want to meet her?" Kurt asked, suddenly. He stood up, lacking his usual spring, and held a hand out to his boyfriend. Blaine took his hand and stood.

"Does she know…?"

"I mentioned you, but there really hasn't been much time for a reunion. What with the showing up out of the blue and stalking me around Lima." His tone was light, and his smile was a little less forced. He'd made up his mind for better or for worse. With Blaine's hand in his, he walked back in the house.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **Sarahamanda, Steffi Star, ****Potrix, ****lillybean queen of the i ocean, Mimiheart, EllaCrain, RazorGirl, Maiqu, jengawii HPobsessed1234567 **and **uriah cullen. **

Please don't kill me - if you do I'll never be able to update! :D You can, however, leave a review. Perhaps it'll inspire me to add a second update today?


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>22 August 2005<em>

Kurt stared with wide eyes at McKinley Middle School and fought the urge to shrink back to the car. They'd moved over the summer, officially rezoning him for Middle School. He would be going to the same high school as his Lima Heights Elementary class mates – both McKinley and Lima Heights Middle fed in to William McKinley High School.

He clutched his schedule in one hand, pulling up his shoulder bag with the other. He got lost a few times, but finally he found his way to home room. There were two empty desks against the window, and Kurt took the one closer to the front of the room. A tall boy rushed in the room out of breath a few minutes after the bell, head swiveling like a puppy before latching on to the empty seat behind Kurt. He was the most beautiful boy Kurt had ever seen, even though his outfit looked like it had been purchased at Target and then balled up for a few weeks before being dug out and tossed haphazardously on.

"Hey," The boy said, knocking every desk on the way back to the empty one, earning him a few glares that he responded with an infectious smile. "I'm Finn. Finn Hudson."

"Kurt Hummel." He said, the hairs on the back of his neck raising as Finn leaned forward, chin almost resting on Kurt's shoulder. "Uh…can I help you?"

"Did I miss anything? My mom was like…crying in the car. Something about how she met my dad on the first day of middle school – he died when I was a baby – "Kurt took advantage of Finn's pause to say something.

"My mom's dead too," He said. It came out a little more nonchalant than he thought he would say, but it had the desired effect. Finn sobered.

"Dude, that sucks. I'm sorry." A large hand reached out and settled on his shoulder, sending a strange tingling feeling through his body that he didn't fully understand.

"It was a few years ago," Kurt said, frowning slightly when Finn's hand withdrew. Before he could say anything else, the bell rang and Finn sprung to his feet as if someone set fire to him. He was practically running out the room but Kurt grabbed him by the arm, getting his attention.

"Where are you headed?" He crossed his fingers as he dropped his hand back to his side, hoping they had classes together.

"Uh…Gym! Sweet! What about you?" It wasn't gym, Kurt knew that. He still wasn't allowed to take part in anything too strenuous.

"History," He said after consulting your schedule. "I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Later Kirk." And Finn was gone.

"It's Kurt," He said to the empty room, not that he cared. Finn could call him anything and he wouldn't care. He smiled as he walked down the hall - this year might not be so bad.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **mumimeanjudy, RazorGirl, uriah cullen, Sarahamanda, 2lazy2login, Potrix, Someone without and account, EllaCrain, Mimiheart, Dont..., DiNutzo-4-DiNozzo, Maiqu, lillybean queen of the i ocean, **and **Steffi Star.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

Burt and Emily were sitting silently in the kitchen when Kurt walked in, hand in hand with Blaine. Kurt faltered, rocking backwards and falling in to his boyfriend who put a firm hand on his back, but didn't urge him forward.

"You must be Blaine," Emily said after a moment, smiling.

"Emily, Blaine. Blaine, Emily." Kurt walked forward, pulling out a seat for Blaine and then one for himself.

"I know this is a big decision," Emily said.

"You're not my mother," He whispered into the table. He cleared his throat, trying again and his voice came out stronger. "You are not my mother."

"Kurt –" Emily reached across the table but Kurt pulled his hands back, folding them in his lap but not resisting when he felt one of Blaine's cover them.

"I said I'd let you ask him, but that's it." Burt's tone was final, leaving Kurt no doubt what decision his father wanted him to make. "You can leave now." Emily looked between Burt and Kurt beseechingly. All Kurt had to do now was stay silent and she would be gone – out of his life forever.

"I'm not done," Kurt said, startling everyone in to looking at him. He ignored Blaine and Burt's questioning looks and focused on Emily.

"You're not my mother. You did everything you could to make me miserable for two years, and I'm not certain if I'll ever forgive you for that. But I think I'd like the chance." He took a breath. "So I'll get the test. On one condition."

"Thank you, Kurt." She sounded breathless, on the verge of crying. She stood up and rushed around as if she was going to hug him, but he put a hand up to stop her.

"The condition," She stopped. "Is that you leave and don't come back unless _I _find you." Her face fell, but he didn't feel even the tiniest shred of regret. "And I won't want to find you for a long, long time. If ever."

"Okay," She said, nodding and wrapping her arms around her midsection. "Is that it?"

He stood up. "Don't forget to write down your doctor's information."

With that, he walked around her and down the stairs to his bedroom. He kept his composure until he was in his room. He heard Blaine close the door, but Kurt was already slumped to the floor, pressed against the wall.

Blaine hesitated before sliding down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him so the taller boy was resting his head on Blaine's chest. "I love you." He murmured in to Kurt's hair.

"Love you too," Kurt said shakily. He wasn't crying, but he felt as if all the strength had been taken from his body. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."

"Need to get to the bathroom?" Blaine offered.

"No," Kurt sat up, taking deep shuddering breaths. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met," Blaine said.

"I think I'm just stupid," Kurt laughed, resting his head back on Blaine's shoulder. "She doesn't deserve it, you know?"

"I know."

"Then why do I feel like I should do it?"

"Because you're you."

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **RazorGirl, uriah cullen, Sarahamanda, Potrix, lillybean queen of the i ocean, imalemonadeaddictt, ****Steffi Star **and **ekko230.**

****A/N: ****This is the chapter you've been waiting for! Opinions on Kurt's decision? You know I love to hear them. Just a few more chapters and it's all over. This was a lot of fun to write, and even though I don't ship Klaine, I will be posting a few more Klaine-centric stories.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>12 August 2002<em>

Kurt would put it off as a dream when he woke up in the morning, because there was no way Emily would visit him voluntarily and there was absolutely no way she would say the things he remembered her saying. He was on the edge of sleep, drifting in and out, when the door opened quietly and someone walked over to his bed, kneeling at the edge and reaching a hand out to brush his hair from his eyes.

"I do love you, Kurt," the voice whispered and Kurt recognized it as Emily. He tried to mumble something, but he didn't really want to talk to her, even if she was saying everything he wanted to hear.

"I can't have always been like this. I see the way you and your dad look at me when you think I'm not looking, and it's too much pressure. It's not an excuse for how I've acted," She sighed. Kurt wanted to open his eyes to comfort her – tell her that he knew she was trying and that he loved her.

"Maybe it is an excuse. But I can't stay. It isn't fair to you, and it isn't fair to Burt but it also isn't fair to me. I'm never going to be what you need me to be, and you can be so amazing. You already are amazing." From the shifting of her weight he guessed she stood up.

"Don't let me mess things up. Move on, meet your prince charming, and take the world by storm. Never stop singing, Kurt. Promise me?" He mumbled something again and he felt her lips touch his forehead gently before withdrawing.

"Go to sleep, honey. I love you." He opened his eyes, sitting up quickly when her words sunk in. No one was there and he hadn't heard the door closed. There were tears in his eyes when he lay back down, curling up and facing the wall. He wasn't sure if the dream was good or bad, but he couldn't stop the tears.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for the lovely reviews: **RazorGirl, Sarahamanda, lillybean queen of the i ocean, ****Steffi Star, EllaCrain, SweetScarlett97, Ice-Zoe, lovebug22,** **Carol King **and **Potrix.**

****A/N: ****There are two chapters after this one, so it'll be done on Friday (no updates on Wednesday, remember?).


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

When Kurt called to set up the appointment, the doctor managed to squeeze him in the next day. The test itself only required them to draw a little blood. The doctor explained that for a liver transplant, an exact match wasn't required, as long as he matched at least four of the six points. A few hours later, Kurt got the call saying that yes, he was indeed a match.

A week later he found himself lying in a hospital bed, clutching the sheets and trying to remember how to breathe. His dad had just stepped out to find Carol and tell her they had arrived safely – she had been surprisingly accepting about the whole situation and had promised to visit Kurt when her shift ended and to steal the good pudding for him. Blaine was still in school, but was going to come by after school, when Kurt should be done with surgery and awake.

"Good morning, Kurt." Kurt opened his eyes when he heard Doctor Gellar's voice. "How are you feeling today?"

"Ready to get this over," He said with a wan smile.

"Are you sure you don't want to schedule the therapy sessions? This isn't an easy decision." When Kurt had first been confirmed as a match, he had been required to go to one session with a psychologist to confirm that he was of sound mind and eligible to donate. She'd signed off, but informed him that it was usual for donors to undergo at least a month of therapy before the surgery. Kurt had declined, stating that he wasn't going to change his mind and yes, he was absolutely sure this is what he wanted to do.

"I'm sure." As soon as the doctor left, Burt walked back in.

"How's it going, kiddo?" He took a seat in one of the chairs, pulling it closer to the bed.

"Fine. Though I'm going to have to burn my clothes because I'm pretty sure they'll smell like a hospital. Plus these gowns are completely unflattering. They should really consider a different print at least." He laughed, fully aware that he was babbling. He couldn't help it; despite his words to the contrary, he was terrified.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Kurt? You don't have to, you know. We don't owe her anything." While Burt insisted it was Kurt's decision, he had made his own choice clear without ever saying 'Kurt, I don't want you to do this.' But he'd been supportive; driving Kurt to and from the hospital and serving as a go between for Kurt and Emily.

"I don't forgive her, but I might one day and I want to be able to tell her," He sighed. It didn't really make sense even in his own head. Nothing had changed. He didn't suddenly love Emily again. He didn't want her to come back and live with them. His hatred hadn't vanished or even lessened, really. But one day it might, and to know that he'd missed out on getting to know her...

"I get it, even if I don't like it. You always were too nice for your own good." He laughed. "So, Carol said you'll probably be here for a few days, and then you'll have follow up visits. I read some of the pamphlets the doc gave us, and did you know it could take up to ten weeks for you to recover all the way?"

"The doctors said that, yeah." Most of the recovery sounded painful, and he knew he was going to miss some school. His teachers knew that and had agreed to send everything home with Finn until he was able to go back. Before his dad could say anything else, a timid looking nurse walked in and stammered out that it was time for him to get ready. Before he knew it, he was being wheeled to the surgical room.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you: **Sarahamanda, lillybean queen of the i ocean, ****Steffi Star, Maiqu, uriah cullen **and **Potrix **for the reviews.**  
><strong>

****A/N: ****I'm not a doctor. What facts are in this are (to my knowledge) accurate. I'm taking an immunology course and we talked about transplants a few days ago, plus I googled some stuff.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize.

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><p><em>21 September 2021<em>

Kurt's hand reflexively settled on his abdomen as if he could feel his scar under his clothes. It was nearly invisible almost ten years after the surgery, but every so often he would catch a glimpse of it in the mirror when he was getting dressed. Thankfully he wasn't one to walk around topless so it was easy to hide.

A few times he had regretted the surgery, especially in the weeks after when he was reduced to relying on his dad and Finn and Carol's help to perform even the simplest task. When the pain flared up and he had to take pain medicine that knocked him out effectively for a day at a time, he cursed Emily and himself to the point where his dad started talking about setting up an appointment with a therapist.

Eventually the resentment faded and he resumed his normal life. He finished his senior year and was accepted in to Tisch, but elected go to Otterbein College to stay closer to home for a few more years. That it was located in Westerville and was close to Dalton and Blaine was just a bonus.

He graduated at the top of his program and moved to New York where, after four years, he finally got a part on Broadway where he had more than one line. That night he put the ring he'd bought in his pocket, planning on proposing in Central Park after dinner at the risk of being cliché. That Blaine beat him to it didn't bother him at all, and they spent the rest of the night celebrating.

The date was set for October in Lima, gay marriage having been legalized country wide in 2014. Quinn had agreed to plan it for free, even though she had become one of the most sought after wedding designers in Ohio. All of their high school friends, New Directions and Warblers, were going to come.

Less than three weeks away and Kurt was in Florida, standing outside a park where a dozen families were playing and trying to work up the courage to walk in. It only took him a minute to recognize one of the little girls, though he had never even seen a picture of her. She was taller than the others, just like Kurt had been at four years old. Her hair was a little lighter than Kurt's, but her almost translucent skin was the same. A few times she ran to a woman sitting on a bench reading, laughing and showing off whatever interesting shell or rock or leaf she'd found.

Emily looked different from the last time Kurt had seen her. Even from across the park he could tell she looked older. There were lines around her eyes and lips from smiling that had been absent ten years ago and her hair was a subtly darker color, probably dyed when she started going grey.

He stood there until the sun started to go down and Emily called for the little girl that it was time to go home. Before he could hide, her eyes met his and she froze. Emily leaned down and whispered something to the girl who laughed and took off back to the playground.

"She's a handful sometimes," The smile that Emily cast back at her daughter was genuine but Kurt didn't even get a twinge of jealousy. "Just like you were when you were her age."

"What's her name?" He asked.

"Autumn." They stood in silence for a moment, both watching the girl playing. Emily turned back to him. "I wanted to invite you to the wedding. And I wanted you to know her. But…" She held her hands up and he faced her. "I stayed sober, you know. Over ten years."

"I'm glad," He said, harshly. "Sorry. I wanted to be civil. Can we start again?"

"Of course."

"I'm getting married in three weeks. I..." What she'd said a few minutes ago finally registered. _Just like you were at her age…_ "You remember?"

"I told you about my therapist. Just…one day I woke up and it was all there. What I did was unforgivable, Kurt. Twenty years ago and ten years ago. I should never have asked you, and I certainly didn't deserve for you to do it. You gave me the greatest gift, and I will never be able to repay you."

Kurt hadn't planned it, but he hugged her, holding on tightly and burying his head in his shoulder. He felt like he was a child again and not a fully grown man. She was sobbing against him and holding just as tightly. It wasn't until Kurt felt a small hand tug his shirt that he pulled away.

"Who are you?" He looked down at Autumn and smiled through the tears. Before he could answer, Emily bent down so she was on level with the girl.

"This is Kurt, honey. He's your half brother." Her eyes widened as she looked up at Kurt.

"Really?"

"Yup," He said, sniffing lightly and wiping a tear away with the back of his hand.

"Cool! I always wanted a brother! Come look at what I drew in the sand." She grabbed his hand, and he let himself be dragged along.

He knew everything wouldn't be okay just like that, but it was a step. As he knelt down in the sand, admiring the mismatched shells and rocks and leaves, any lingering resentment at the time he'd lost ten years ago was gone. Blaine had always wanted to visit Florida, and he had a break in his schedule after the holidays. Holding Autumn's hand as they walked back to her house, he knew he wanted to make the effort to get to know this family.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thank you: **Sarahamanda, lillybean queen of the i ocean, ****Steffi Star, Maiqu, uriah cullen, HinaLuvLuvChan **and **mumimeanjudy** for the reviews.**  
><strong>

To clarify - Live Donor Liver Transplantation is performed all the time. The doctor takes half of the donor's liver and put it in the recipient. In 6-8 weeks, both halves grow to full size.

This is the end of the story! I just want to take one more chance to thank everyone who has reviewed/alerted/favorited this story. I know a lot of people didn't like Kurt's decision, but I couldn't imagine him choosing any differently.


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